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“Try and Forgive”— Onyeka Onwenu shares the greatest lesson life taught her #WithChude

Three villages. Three schools. One Friday that shattered everything.

We drove 5 hours deep into the Oyo hinterlands past Ibadan, through Ogbomosho, past vast forests and flatlands to sit with the people at the center of this tragedy.

The mother. The husband. The grandfather. The 8-year-old girl who jumped through a window to survive.

These are their words. This is their reality.

Three villages. Three schools. One Friday that shattered everything.

We drove 5 hours deep into the Oyo hinterlands past Ibadan, through Ogbomosho, past vast forests and flatlands to sit with the people at the center of this tragedy.

The mother. The husband. The grandfather. The 8-year-old girl who jumped through a window to survive.

These are their words. This is their reality.

Three villages. Three schools. One Friday that shattered everything.

We drove 5 hours deep into the Oyo hinterlands past Ibadan, through Ogbomosho, past vast forests and flatlands to sit with the people at the center of this tragedy.

The mother. The husband. The grandfather. The 8-year-old girl who jumped through a window to survive.

These are their words. This is their reality.

Three villages. Three schools. One Friday that shattered everything.

We drove 5 hours deep into the Oyo hinterlands past Ibadan, through Ogbomosho, past vast forests and flatlands to sit with the people at the center of this tragedy.

The mother. The husband. The grandfather. The 8-year-old girl who jumped through a window to survive.

These are their words. This is their reality.

Three villages. Three schools. One Friday that shattered everything.

We drove 5 hours deep into the Oyo hinterlands past Ibadan, through Ogbomosho, past vast forests and flatlands to sit with the people at the center of this tragedy.

The mother. The husband. The grandfather. The 8-year-old girl who jumped through a window to survive.

These are their words. This is their reality.

Three villages. Three schools. One Friday that shattered everything.

We drove 5 hours deep into the Oyo hinterlands past Ibadan, through Ogbomosho, past vast forests and flatlands to sit with the people at the center of this tragedy.

The mother. The husband. The grandfather. The 8-year-old girl who jumped through a window to survive.

These are their words. This is their reality.

Three villages. Three schools. One Friday that shattered everything.

We drove 5 hours deep into the Oyo hinterlands past Ibadan, through Ogbomosho, past vast forests and flatlands to sit with the people at the center of this tragedy.

The mother. The husband. The grandfather. The 8-year-old girl who jumped through a window to survive.

These are their words. This is their reality.

This 8-year-old girl made a decision that saved her life
She jumped through a window and ran.

Her younger brother didn't make it out.
This is the first time anyone outside those three villages is seeing what that escape looks like — hearing it from a child who lived it, in her own words, in her own language.
She remembers everything.
The noise. The gun shots. The moment she realized she had to move.

I stood with her and I let her talk.
Because she deserves to be heard.
Because her brother deserves to be remembered.
Because this is what it looks like when a country fails its children — and the children still find a way to survive anyway.

Watch this. Share it.
This is what our country has become.

This survivor told me a story no other media report had revealed: His brother was killed by a bomb planted by the bandits.

The brother who worked at the National Park used his expertise of the forest to join others to try for emergency rescue - but, tragically, the bandits already set a terrible trap that killed him.

It is a terrible tragedy.

Last Friday, over 45 children and adults were kidnapped after bandits invaded three schools in Orire LGA - in simultaneous attacks.

But something worried me as I watched the reportage.

There was scanty footage actually on the ground. And the footage I was seeing from local reporters was either from Ibadan or somewhere far away from the actual victims and survivors.

I understand why - the risk is too high for the institutions and they often do the best they can.

But it meant something was missing - where were the human stories? Where were the people at the center of this tragedy? Where were their voices?

So I decided to go.
3 days after the kidnap, I went to the hot zone.

I have been to conflict zones from Chibok to Barkin Ladi and pursued stories of corrupt cops and powerful politicians, yes - but this became the most dangerous trip we have ever taken.

We took the 5-hour journey by road deep into the belly of the Oyo hinterlands - past Ibadan, through Ogbomoso, past Takia, two hours travelling past nothing but vast lands of dangerous forests and bushes, with mud houses appearing once in a while; to tell the stories that I thought deserved to be told.

To center the mothers whose daughters were kidnapped, the husband whose wife and 1-year old daughter were kidnapped, the man whose four children were kidnapped, the 8-year-old girl who escaped by jumping through the window, the grandfather who is looking for his grandson, the Baale’s wife who is desperate for her daughter, the single mother who is weeping for her missing son.

Three villages full of citizens whose hearts have been broken into pieces.

I visited all 3. Yawota, Alawusa and Ahoro-Esinele.

Over the next few days, I will be helping them tell their stories.

I asked them to say the names of their daughters, sons,mothers,fathers, brothers and sisters. So that we don’t forget what this is all about: human lives.

Don’t turn away. Don’t flinch.

This is what our country has become.

And you need to hear it and see it for yourself.

Honest conversations. Real vulnerability.

A space where people can speak fully, without fear of being misunderstood, labeled, or judged for their truth.

This is No Judgement Zone with Chude

#withchude #letsbehumantogether #nojudgementzone

Some people left the 2025 Joy Retreat and said "I needed that years ago."

This is for everyone who wasn't in the room last year — and felt it.

The 2026 Joy Retreat.
Zanzibar. November 17 – 29.

This is not a conference.
There are no panels to perform for.
No networking to survive.
Just honest conversations, real rest, and the kind of clarity that only comes when you finally pause.

Full retreat access — all sessions, materials, and meals — is included.

The people who moved early got it for $650. That window is closed now.
Right now it's $850. And when that closes, it goes to $1,000.

This is genuinely the best time to apply.

Spaces are limited. Intentionally.
Apply now ->retreat.withchude.com

Let's be human together.

Some people left the 2025 Joy Retreat and said "I needed that years ago."

This is for everyone who wasn't in the room last year — and felt it.

The 2026 Joy Retreat.
Zanzibar. November 17 – 29.

This is not a conference.
There are no panels to perform for.
No networking to survive.
Just honest conversations, real rest, and the kind of clarity that only comes when you finally pause.

Full retreat access — all sessions, materials, and meals — is included.

The people who moved early got it for $650. That window is closed now.
Right now it's $850. And when that closes, it goes to $1,000.

This is genuinely the best time to apply.

Spaces are limited. Intentionally.
Apply now ->retreat.withchude.com

Let's be human together.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

How did I end up with a network of successful businesses people don’t even know I own, because those businesses don’t need me to run, to thrive, to grow?

I spent two decades building, training, investing, re-investing - building to last.

As I shared with the business leaders and innovators at the 40 Under 40 event in Lagos, I managed to learn very early the value of ignoring what other people are doing if it does not make sense to me.

I focused on the long term where some peers and contemporaries focused on the now, on the noise, on the flash.

It is the biggest lesson life has taught me.
We are still building by the way. We have barely scratched the surface of the vision that we have for our industry.

I got to know my father for 15 years before he passed, I don’t dwell on how he passed because I took enough from his impact. - Sunshine Rosman

—
To watch, go to watch.withchude.com and to listen go to listen.withchude.com.

If you have any issues with your subscription or payment, or you need someone to help you sign up, please contact us on +2348094321111.

Till date, women cannot walk freely without experiencing sexual harassment in Yaba, Lagos. I know a victim the police made to feel guilty for speaking up. -Sunshine Rosman

—
To watch, go to watch.withchude.com and to listen go to listen.withchude.com.

If you have any issues with your subscription or payment, or you need someone to help you sign up, please contact us on +2348094321111.

Many people have a third-party relationship with God. You have to harbor a relationship with God for Him to speak with you. - Sunshine Rosman

—
To watch, go to watch.withchude.com and to listen go to listen.withchude.com.

If you have any issues with your subscription or payment, or you need someone to help you sign up, please contact us on +2348094321111.