Instagram Hikaye Kaydet

This is what we’ve missed. (Do you remember how it feels?)

#concerts #livemusic #gracieabrams #nyc

This is what we’ve missed. (Do you remember how it feels?)

#concerts #livemusic #gracieabrams #nyc

This is what we’ve missed. (Do you remember how it feels?)

#concerts #livemusic #gracieabrams #nyc

This is what we’ve missed. (Do you remember how it feels?)

#concerts #livemusic #gracieabrams #nyc

This is what we’ve missed. (Do you remember how it feels?)

#concerts #livemusic #gracieabrams #nyc

This is what we’ve missed. (Do you remember how it feels?)

#concerts #livemusic #gracieabrams #nyc

This is what we’ve missed. (Do you remember how it feels?)

#concerts #livemusic #gracieabrams #nyc

Is this what they call a “sign of the times?”

More photos from #harrystylesloveontour tomorrow!

Is this what they call a “sign of the times?”

More photos from #harrystylesloveontour tomorrow!

Is this what they call a “sign of the times?”

More photos from #harrystylesloveontour tomorrow!

Is this what they call a “sign of the times?”

More photos from #harrystylesloveontour tomorrow!

Is this what they call a “sign of the times?”

More photos from #harrystylesloveontour tomorrow!

Is this what they call a “sign of the times?”

More photos from #harrystylesloveontour tomorrow!

Is this what they call a “sign of the times?”

More photos from #harrystylesloveontour tomorrow!

Is this what they call a “sign of the times?”

More photos from #harrystylesloveontour tomorrow!

I thought I was doing the whole idyllic “falling for someone as snow falls in New York” thing. I thought this was my Reputation era and he could be my Joe Alwyn, but as it turns out, he was yet another Jake Gyllenhaal (if you know, you know—you know all too well).

For a few days, I’ve been bummed and angry, but determined to write my way through this and make my therapist proud. But at the back of my mind, I still felt a bit melancholy about the loss of falling in love in New York City, at least this winter, at least before the new year.

Then I got hired to shoot this beautiful busking event with Dermot Kennedy. He’s one of my favorite writers and everything felt seasonally magical, beneath the arch and the Christmas tree and surrounded by singing strangers. I didn’t want to be anywhere else and as I walked back to Union Square, I realized I didn’t have to fall in love with anyone to feel all of this fully. I didn’t need this specific man or this specific scenario in order to live a good story.

I will still feel all of it fully:
the good, the hurt, the beauty, the mystery.

As my train pulled up to the Montrose stop, I saw a gal at the other end of the train with a @newyorkornowhere tote bag and that moment solidified the feeling.

This is it. This is where I’m supposed to be. There’s more to being in love than a hand to hold or someone to make eye contact with on the other side of the room. Love leaves margin for growth, uncertainty, change. Love is terrifyingly precarious and stunningly beautiful. Love is a sunrise on the 35th floor. Love is the smell of pine trees as you walk home through Soho alone at night. Love is a maple latte from the cafe that’s become your favorite. Love is wine drunk laughing with your friends. Love is that moment on 5th street today, realizing it would all be okay. And even more than okay, it will be beautiful.

It is beautiful—right now—all pine needles and jacket weather and wanting to dance in cobblestone puddles. It is beautiful, all right in front of you. It is beautiful in that song in Washington Square Park today. It was beautiful on all of your faces. If you were there, you know. And I hope you felt it all fully.

I thought I was doing the whole idyllic “falling for someone as snow falls in New York” thing. I thought this was my Reputation era and he could be my Joe Alwyn, but as it turns out, he was yet another Jake Gyllenhaal (if you know, you know—you know all too well).

For a few days, I’ve been bummed and angry, but determined to write my way through this and make my therapist proud. But at the back of my mind, I still felt a bit melancholy about the loss of falling in love in New York City, at least this winter, at least before the new year.

Then I got hired to shoot this beautiful busking event with Dermot Kennedy. He’s one of my favorite writers and everything felt seasonally magical, beneath the arch and the Christmas tree and surrounded by singing strangers. I didn’t want to be anywhere else and as I walked back to Union Square, I realized I didn’t have to fall in love with anyone to feel all of this fully. I didn’t need this specific man or this specific scenario in order to live a good story.

I will still feel all of it fully:
the good, the hurt, the beauty, the mystery.

As my train pulled up to the Montrose stop, I saw a gal at the other end of the train with a @newyorkornowhere tote bag and that moment solidified the feeling.

This is it. This is where I’m supposed to be. There’s more to being in love than a hand to hold or someone to make eye contact with on the other side of the room. Love leaves margin for growth, uncertainty, change. Love is terrifyingly precarious and stunningly beautiful. Love is a sunrise on the 35th floor. Love is the smell of pine trees as you walk home through Soho alone at night. Love is a maple latte from the cafe that’s become your favorite. Love is wine drunk laughing with your friends. Love is that moment on 5th street today, realizing it would all be okay. And even more than okay, it will be beautiful.

It is beautiful—right now—all pine needles and jacket weather and wanting to dance in cobblestone puddles. It is beautiful, all right in front of you. It is beautiful in that song in Washington Square Park today. It was beautiful on all of your faces. If you were there, you know. And I hope you felt it all fully.

I thought I was doing the whole idyllic “falling for someone as snow falls in New York” thing. I thought this was my Reputation era and he could be my Joe Alwyn, but as it turns out, he was yet another Jake Gyllenhaal (if you know, you know—you know all too well).

For a few days, I’ve been bummed and angry, but determined to write my way through this and make my therapist proud. But at the back of my mind, I still felt a bit melancholy about the loss of falling in love in New York City, at least this winter, at least before the new year.

Then I got hired to shoot this beautiful busking event with Dermot Kennedy. He’s one of my favorite writers and everything felt seasonally magical, beneath the arch and the Christmas tree and surrounded by singing strangers. I didn’t want to be anywhere else and as I walked back to Union Square, I realized I didn’t have to fall in love with anyone to feel all of this fully. I didn’t need this specific man or this specific scenario in order to live a good story.

I will still feel all of it fully:
the good, the hurt, the beauty, the mystery.

As my train pulled up to the Montrose stop, I saw a gal at the other end of the train with a @newyorkornowhere tote bag and that moment solidified the feeling.

This is it. This is where I’m supposed to be. There’s more to being in love than a hand to hold or someone to make eye contact with on the other side of the room. Love leaves margin for growth, uncertainty, change. Love is terrifyingly precarious and stunningly beautiful. Love is a sunrise on the 35th floor. Love is the smell of pine trees as you walk home through Soho alone at night. Love is a maple latte from the cafe that’s become your favorite. Love is wine drunk laughing with your friends. Love is that moment on 5th street today, realizing it would all be okay. And even more than okay, it will be beautiful.

It is beautiful—right now—all pine needles and jacket weather and wanting to dance in cobblestone puddles. It is beautiful, all right in front of you. It is beautiful in that song in Washington Square Park today. It was beautiful on all of your faces. If you were there, you know. And I hope you felt it all fully.

I thought I was doing the whole idyllic “falling for someone as snow falls in New York” thing. I thought this was my Reputation era and he could be my Joe Alwyn, but as it turns out, he was yet another Jake Gyllenhaal (if you know, you know—you know all too well).

For a few days, I’ve been bummed and angry, but determined to write my way through this and make my therapist proud. But at the back of my mind, I still felt a bit melancholy about the loss of falling in love in New York City, at least this winter, at least before the new year.

Then I got hired to shoot this beautiful busking event with Dermot Kennedy. He’s one of my favorite writers and everything felt seasonally magical, beneath the arch and the Christmas tree and surrounded by singing strangers. I didn’t want to be anywhere else and as I walked back to Union Square, I realized I didn’t have to fall in love with anyone to feel all of this fully. I didn’t need this specific man or this specific scenario in order to live a good story.

I will still feel all of it fully:
the good, the hurt, the beauty, the mystery.

As my train pulled up to the Montrose stop, I saw a gal at the other end of the train with a @newyorkornowhere tote bag and that moment solidified the feeling.

This is it. This is where I’m supposed to be. There’s more to being in love than a hand to hold or someone to make eye contact with on the other side of the room. Love leaves margin for growth, uncertainty, change. Love is terrifyingly precarious and stunningly beautiful. Love is a sunrise on the 35th floor. Love is the smell of pine trees as you walk home through Soho alone at night. Love is a maple latte from the cafe that’s become your favorite. Love is wine drunk laughing with your friends. Love is that moment on 5th street today, realizing it would all be okay. And even more than okay, it will be beautiful.

It is beautiful—right now—all pine needles and jacket weather and wanting to dance in cobblestone puddles. It is beautiful, all right in front of you. It is beautiful in that song in Washington Square Park today. It was beautiful on all of your faces. If you were there, you know. And I hope you felt it all fully.

I thought I was doing the whole idyllic “falling for someone as snow falls in New York” thing. I thought this was my Reputation era and he could be my Joe Alwyn, but as it turns out, he was yet another Jake Gyllenhaal (if you know, you know—you know all too well).

For a few days, I’ve been bummed and angry, but determined to write my way through this and make my therapist proud. But at the back of my mind, I still felt a bit melancholy about the loss of falling in love in New York City, at least this winter, at least before the new year.

Then I got hired to shoot this beautiful busking event with Dermot Kennedy. He’s one of my favorite writers and everything felt seasonally magical, beneath the arch and the Christmas tree and surrounded by singing strangers. I didn’t want to be anywhere else and as I walked back to Union Square, I realized I didn’t have to fall in love with anyone to feel all of this fully. I didn’t need this specific man or this specific scenario in order to live a good story.

I will still feel all of it fully:
the good, the hurt, the beauty, the mystery.

As my train pulled up to the Montrose stop, I saw a gal at the other end of the train with a @newyorkornowhere tote bag and that moment solidified the feeling.

This is it. This is where I’m supposed to be. There’s more to being in love than a hand to hold or someone to make eye contact with on the other side of the room. Love leaves margin for growth, uncertainty, change. Love is terrifyingly precarious and stunningly beautiful. Love is a sunrise on the 35th floor. Love is the smell of pine trees as you walk home through Soho alone at night. Love is a maple latte from the cafe that’s become your favorite. Love is wine drunk laughing with your friends. Love is that moment on 5th street today, realizing it would all be okay. And even more than okay, it will be beautiful.

It is beautiful—right now—all pine needles and jacket weather and wanting to dance in cobblestone puddles. It is beautiful, all right in front of you. It is beautiful in that song in Washington Square Park today. It was beautiful on all of your faces. If you were there, you know. And I hope you felt it all fully.

I thought I was doing the whole idyllic “falling for someone as snow falls in New York” thing. I thought this was my Reputation era and he could be my Joe Alwyn, but as it turns out, he was yet another Jake Gyllenhaal (if you know, you know—you know all too well).

For a few days, I’ve been bummed and angry, but determined to write my way through this and make my therapist proud. But at the back of my mind, I still felt a bit melancholy about the loss of falling in love in New York City, at least this winter, at least before the new year.

Then I got hired to shoot this beautiful busking event with Dermot Kennedy. He’s one of my favorite writers and everything felt seasonally magical, beneath the arch and the Christmas tree and surrounded by singing strangers. I didn’t want to be anywhere else and as I walked back to Union Square, I realized I didn’t have to fall in love with anyone to feel all of this fully. I didn’t need this specific man or this specific scenario in order to live a good story.

I will still feel all of it fully:
the good, the hurt, the beauty, the mystery.

As my train pulled up to the Montrose stop, I saw a gal at the other end of the train with a @newyorkornowhere tote bag and that moment solidified the feeling.

This is it. This is where I’m supposed to be. There’s more to being in love than a hand to hold or someone to make eye contact with on the other side of the room. Love leaves margin for growth, uncertainty, change. Love is terrifyingly precarious and stunningly beautiful. Love is a sunrise on the 35th floor. Love is the smell of pine trees as you walk home through Soho alone at night. Love is a maple latte from the cafe that’s become your favorite. Love is wine drunk laughing with your friends. Love is that moment on 5th street today, realizing it would all be okay. And even more than okay, it will be beautiful.

It is beautiful—right now—all pine needles and jacket weather and wanting to dance in cobblestone puddles. It is beautiful, all right in front of you. It is beautiful in that song in Washington Square Park today. It was beautiful on all of your faces. If you were there, you know. And I hope you felt it all fully.

Five years ago, I took a 17-day, cross-country roadtrip from Des Moines to California and back, exhausting all my PTO so I could watch the sun rise over the Grand Canyon on the morning of my birthday. This year I wondered if I should get out of town for the day or the weekend, but I ran out of time and chose to spend my money on other things.

And not only am I not traveling, but I’m working today—not all day, but some of the day. At first, I was tempted to beat myself up mentally for not being so ahead of my work as to give myself a day off today. But I’ve learned that idolizing cities or moments or adventures only puts so much pressure on them that they’re wrung out of enjoyment.

So today I’m letting whatever happens be okay. One of my tattoos is of open hands and I’m still learning to be her. I’m still learning how to plan and set goals and dream, but be open to whatever comes my way, goodness or disappointment, and not letting either destroy me.

Did this year go how I planned? Not in any way, and it’s so easy to dwell on disappointments and rebrand them as failures and take in those failures as indicative of your worth and future. But if anything I am changing and unlearning that.And I’m letting myself be surprised by new cities and new people and new opportunities and new parts of myself. All these things are part of becoming.

I cut my hair (ty @gaylilhaircut) and colored it, too (ty @thejessicahair) and I might get my ears pierced again today. I’ve been dancing again and doing Pilates, returning to old things I love and finding new ones, closing all the circles and finding open pathways beyond them. And now we are circled back to the beginning, where it’s my birthday and I’m still working.

Sometimes I wonder if the last 5 years since that 17-day roadtrip have been, at least in part, wasted. Am I further along than I was then? Am I better off? How much has really changed? Should I not be farther along? These questions constantly lurk in my mind, but I try to qualm them with open hands, open hands, forward, onward, upward. (finished in the comments and in the images)

📷: @alyssaleicht
#birthday #growth #ootd

Five years ago, I took a 17-day, cross-country roadtrip from Des Moines to California and back, exhausting all my PTO so I could watch the sun rise over the Grand Canyon on the morning of my birthday. This year I wondered if I should get out of town for the day or the weekend, but I ran out of time and chose to spend my money on other things.

And not only am I not traveling, but I’m working today—not all day, but some of the day. At first, I was tempted to beat myself up mentally for not being so ahead of my work as to give myself a day off today. But I’ve learned that idolizing cities or moments or adventures only puts so much pressure on them that they’re wrung out of enjoyment.

So today I’m letting whatever happens be okay. One of my tattoos is of open hands and I’m still learning to be her. I’m still learning how to plan and set goals and dream, but be open to whatever comes my way, goodness or disappointment, and not letting either destroy me.

Did this year go how I planned? Not in any way, and it’s so easy to dwell on disappointments and rebrand them as failures and take in those failures as indicative of your worth and future. But if anything I am changing and unlearning that.And I’m letting myself be surprised by new cities and new people and new opportunities and new parts of myself. All these things are part of becoming.

I cut my hair (ty @gaylilhaircut) and colored it, too (ty @thejessicahair) and I might get my ears pierced again today. I’ve been dancing again and doing Pilates, returning to old things I love and finding new ones, closing all the circles and finding open pathways beyond them. And now we are circled back to the beginning, where it’s my birthday and I’m still working.

Sometimes I wonder if the last 5 years since that 17-day roadtrip have been, at least in part, wasted. Am I further along than I was then? Am I better off? How much has really changed? Should I not be farther along? These questions constantly lurk in my mind, but I try to qualm them with open hands, open hands, forward, onward, upward. (finished in the comments and in the images)

📷: @alyssaleicht
#birthday #growth #ootd

Five years ago, I took a 17-day, cross-country roadtrip from Des Moines to California and back, exhausting all my PTO so I could watch the sun rise over the Grand Canyon on the morning of my birthday. This year I wondered if I should get out of town for the day or the weekend, but I ran out of time and chose to spend my money on other things.

And not only am I not traveling, but I’m working today—not all day, but some of the day. At first, I was tempted to beat myself up mentally for not being so ahead of my work as to give myself a day off today. But I’ve learned that idolizing cities or moments or adventures only puts so much pressure on them that they’re wrung out of enjoyment.

So today I’m letting whatever happens be okay. One of my tattoos is of open hands and I’m still learning to be her. I’m still learning how to plan and set goals and dream, but be open to whatever comes my way, goodness or disappointment, and not letting either destroy me.

Did this year go how I planned? Not in any way, and it’s so easy to dwell on disappointments and rebrand them as failures and take in those failures as indicative of your worth and future. But if anything I am changing and unlearning that.And I’m letting myself be surprised by new cities and new people and new opportunities and new parts of myself. All these things are part of becoming.

I cut my hair (ty @gaylilhaircut) and colored it, too (ty @thejessicahair) and I might get my ears pierced again today. I’ve been dancing again and doing Pilates, returning to old things I love and finding new ones, closing all the circles and finding open pathways beyond them. And now we are circled back to the beginning, where it’s my birthday and I’m still working.

Sometimes I wonder if the last 5 years since that 17-day roadtrip have been, at least in part, wasted. Am I further along than I was then? Am I better off? How much has really changed? Should I not be farther along? These questions constantly lurk in my mind, but I try to qualm them with open hands, open hands, forward, onward, upward. (finished in the comments and in the images)

📷: @alyssaleicht
#birthday #growth #ootd

Five years ago, I took a 17-day, cross-country roadtrip from Des Moines to California and back, exhausting all my PTO so I could watch the sun rise over the Grand Canyon on the morning of my birthday. This year I wondered if I should get out of town for the day or the weekend, but I ran out of time and chose to spend my money on other things.

And not only am I not traveling, but I’m working today—not all day, but some of the day. At first, I was tempted to beat myself up mentally for not being so ahead of my work as to give myself a day off today. But I’ve learned that idolizing cities or moments or adventures only puts so much pressure on them that they’re wrung out of enjoyment.

So today I’m letting whatever happens be okay. One of my tattoos is of open hands and I’m still learning to be her. I’m still learning how to plan and set goals and dream, but be open to whatever comes my way, goodness or disappointment, and not letting either destroy me.

Did this year go how I planned? Not in any way, and it’s so easy to dwell on disappointments and rebrand them as failures and take in those failures as indicative of your worth and future. But if anything I am changing and unlearning that.And I’m letting myself be surprised by new cities and new people and new opportunities and new parts of myself. All these things are part of becoming.

I cut my hair (ty @gaylilhaircut) and colored it, too (ty @thejessicahair) and I might get my ears pierced again today. I’ve been dancing again and doing Pilates, returning to old things I love and finding new ones, closing all the circles and finding open pathways beyond them. And now we are circled back to the beginning, where it’s my birthday and I’m still working.

Sometimes I wonder if the last 5 years since that 17-day roadtrip have been, at least in part, wasted. Am I further along than I was then? Am I better off? How much has really changed? Should I not be farther along? These questions constantly lurk in my mind, but I try to qualm them with open hands, open hands, forward, onward, upward. (finished in the comments and in the images)

📷: @alyssaleicht
#birthday #growth #ootd

Five years ago, I took a 17-day, cross-country roadtrip from Des Moines to California and back, exhausting all my PTO so I could watch the sun rise over the Grand Canyon on the morning of my birthday. This year I wondered if I should get out of town for the day or the weekend, but I ran out of time and chose to spend my money on other things.

And not only am I not traveling, but I’m working today—not all day, but some of the day. At first, I was tempted to beat myself up mentally for not being so ahead of my work as to give myself a day off today. But I’ve learned that idolizing cities or moments or adventures only puts so much pressure on them that they’re wrung out of enjoyment.

So today I’m letting whatever happens be okay. One of my tattoos is of open hands and I’m still learning to be her. I’m still learning how to plan and set goals and dream, but be open to whatever comes my way, goodness or disappointment, and not letting either destroy me.

Did this year go how I planned? Not in any way, and it’s so easy to dwell on disappointments and rebrand them as failures and take in those failures as indicative of your worth and future. But if anything I am changing and unlearning that.And I’m letting myself be surprised by new cities and new people and new opportunities and new parts of myself. All these things are part of becoming.

I cut my hair (ty @gaylilhaircut) and colored it, too (ty @thejessicahair) and I might get my ears pierced again today. I’ve been dancing again and doing Pilates, returning to old things I love and finding new ones, closing all the circles and finding open pathways beyond them. And now we are circled back to the beginning, where it’s my birthday and I’m still working.

Sometimes I wonder if the last 5 years since that 17-day roadtrip have been, at least in part, wasted. Am I further along than I was then? Am I better off? How much has really changed? Should I not be farther along? These questions constantly lurk in my mind, but I try to qualm them with open hands, open hands, forward, onward, upward. (finished in the comments and in the images)

📷: @alyssaleicht
#birthday #growth #ootd

Five years ago, I took a 17-day, cross-country roadtrip from Des Moines to California and back, exhausting all my PTO so I could watch the sun rise over the Grand Canyon on the morning of my birthday. This year I wondered if I should get out of town for the day or the weekend, but I ran out of time and chose to spend my money on other things.

And not only am I not traveling, but I’m working today—not all day, but some of the day. At first, I was tempted to beat myself up mentally for not being so ahead of my work as to give myself a day off today. But I’ve learned that idolizing cities or moments or adventures only puts so much pressure on them that they’re wrung out of enjoyment.

So today I’m letting whatever happens be okay. One of my tattoos is of open hands and I’m still learning to be her. I’m still learning how to plan and set goals and dream, but be open to whatever comes my way, goodness or disappointment, and not letting either destroy me.

Did this year go how I planned? Not in any way, and it’s so easy to dwell on disappointments and rebrand them as failures and take in those failures as indicative of your worth and future. But if anything I am changing and unlearning that.And I’m letting myself be surprised by new cities and new people and new opportunities and new parts of myself. All these things are part of becoming.

I cut my hair (ty @gaylilhaircut) and colored it, too (ty @thejessicahair) and I might get my ears pierced again today. I’ve been dancing again and doing Pilates, returning to old things I love and finding new ones, closing all the circles and finding open pathways beyond them. And now we are circled back to the beginning, where it’s my birthday and I’m still working.

Sometimes I wonder if the last 5 years since that 17-day roadtrip have been, at least in part, wasted. Am I further along than I was then? Am I better off? How much has really changed? Should I not be farther along? These questions constantly lurk in my mind, but I try to qualm them with open hands, open hands, forward, onward, upward. (finished in the comments and in the images)

📷: @alyssaleicht
#birthday #growth #ootd

Five years ago, I took a 17-day, cross-country roadtrip from Des Moines to California and back, exhausting all my PTO so I could watch the sun rise over the Grand Canyon on the morning of my birthday. This year I wondered if I should get out of town for the day or the weekend, but I ran out of time and chose to spend my money on other things.

And not only am I not traveling, but I’m working today—not all day, but some of the day. At first, I was tempted to beat myself up mentally for not being so ahead of my work as to give myself a day off today. But I’ve learned that idolizing cities or moments or adventures only puts so much pressure on them that they’re wrung out of enjoyment.

So today I’m letting whatever happens be okay. One of my tattoos is of open hands and I’m still learning to be her. I’m still learning how to plan and set goals and dream, but be open to whatever comes my way, goodness or disappointment, and not letting either destroy me.

Did this year go how I planned? Not in any way, and it’s so easy to dwell on disappointments and rebrand them as failures and take in those failures as indicative of your worth and future. But if anything I am changing and unlearning that.And I’m letting myself be surprised by new cities and new people and new opportunities and new parts of myself. All these things are part of becoming.

I cut my hair (ty @gaylilhaircut) and colored it, too (ty @thejessicahair) and I might get my ears pierced again today. I’ve been dancing again and doing Pilates, returning to old things I love and finding new ones, closing all the circles and finding open pathways beyond them. And now we are circled back to the beginning, where it’s my birthday and I’m still working.

Sometimes I wonder if the last 5 years since that 17-day roadtrip have been, at least in part, wasted. Am I further along than I was then? Am I better off? How much has really changed? Should I not be farther along? These questions constantly lurk in my mind, but I try to qualm them with open hands, open hands, forward, onward, upward. (finished in the comments and in the images)

📷: @alyssaleicht
#birthday #growth #ootd

Five years ago, I took a 17-day, cross-country roadtrip from Des Moines to California and back, exhausting all my PTO so I could watch the sun rise over the Grand Canyon on the morning of my birthday. This year I wondered if I should get out of town for the day or the weekend, but I ran out of time and chose to spend my money on other things.

And not only am I not traveling, but I’m working today—not all day, but some of the day. At first, I was tempted to beat myself up mentally for not being so ahead of my work as to give myself a day off today. But I’ve learned that idolizing cities or moments or adventures only puts so much pressure on them that they’re wrung out of enjoyment.

So today I’m letting whatever happens be okay. One of my tattoos is of open hands and I’m still learning to be her. I’m still learning how to plan and set goals and dream, but be open to whatever comes my way, goodness or disappointment, and not letting either destroy me.

Did this year go how I planned? Not in any way, and it’s so easy to dwell on disappointments and rebrand them as failures and take in those failures as indicative of your worth and future. But if anything I am changing and unlearning that.And I’m letting myself be surprised by new cities and new people and new opportunities and new parts of myself. All these things are part of becoming.

I cut my hair (ty @gaylilhaircut) and colored it, too (ty @thejessicahair) and I might get my ears pierced again today. I’ve been dancing again and doing Pilates, returning to old things I love and finding new ones, closing all the circles and finding open pathways beyond them. And now we are circled back to the beginning, where it’s my birthday and I’m still working.

Sometimes I wonder if the last 5 years since that 17-day roadtrip have been, at least in part, wasted. Am I further along than I was then? Am I better off? How much has really changed? Should I not be farther along? These questions constantly lurk in my mind, but I try to qualm them with open hands, open hands, forward, onward, upward. (finished in the comments and in the images)

📷: @alyssaleicht
#birthday #growth #ootd

I saw Erupcja’s Chicago premiere at @musicboxchicago on a whim and am delighted to say it’s one of my favorite films so far this year. The characters felt likable and flawed and real, which—after hearing the q&a and learning about the creative process behind the movie—makes sense. This evening reminded me of the delight of creating and how creation thrives most in community. Sometimes we stumble upon it and sometimes we have to hunt for those spaces and I’ve lived both of those stories. It’s been more of a hunting season lately, figuring out my path and my people, but we’re getting there. I’m getting there (wherever there is). That being said, I want to be part of more projects like this film, where community and collaboration are at the forefront, bringing out our best work. And I’m writing this down so perhaps someone will see it and feel the same way and then, suddenly, we are on our way.

Anyways, go see #erupcjafilm!

I saw Erupcja’s Chicago premiere at @musicboxchicago on a whim and am delighted to say it’s one of my favorite films so far this year. The characters felt likable and flawed and real, which—after hearing the q&a and learning about the creative process behind the movie—makes sense. This evening reminded me of the delight of creating and how creation thrives most in community. Sometimes we stumble upon it and sometimes we have to hunt for those spaces and I’ve lived both of those stories. It’s been more of a hunting season lately, figuring out my path and my people, but we’re getting there. I’m getting there (wherever there is). That being said, I want to be part of more projects like this film, where community and collaboration are at the forefront, bringing out our best work. And I’m writing this down so perhaps someone will see it and feel the same way and then, suddenly, we are on our way.

Anyways, go see #erupcjafilm!

I will wake up early for 2 things: flights and bagels.

@jess_2795 and I sat on the sidewalk drinking @alaninutrition as the sun rose and were the first people in the new Chicago @popupbagels store—and Jessica was the first customer to try the new @portilloshotdogs collab: a giardiniera schmear. (That’s the first photo!)

Anyways, I love bagels and I’m excited to have a new spot in the city!!! Welcome, @popupbagels! 🫶🏻

#popupbagels #chicago #adventure #portillos

I will wake up early for 2 things: flights and bagels.

@jess_2795 and I sat on the sidewalk drinking @alaninutrition as the sun rose and were the first people in the new Chicago @popupbagels store—and Jessica was the first customer to try the new @portilloshotdogs collab: a giardiniera schmear. (That’s the first photo!)

Anyways, I love bagels and I’m excited to have a new spot in the city!!! Welcome, @popupbagels! 🫶🏻

#popupbagels #chicago #adventure #portillos

I will wake up early for 2 things: flights and bagels.

@jess_2795 and I sat on the sidewalk drinking @alaninutrition as the sun rose and were the first people in the new Chicago @popupbagels store—and Jessica was the first customer to try the new @portilloshotdogs collab: a giardiniera schmear. (That’s the first photo!)

Anyways, I love bagels and I’m excited to have a new spot in the city!!! Welcome, @popupbagels! 🫶🏻

#popupbagels #chicago #adventure #portillos

I will wake up early for 2 things: flights and bagels.

@jess_2795 and I sat on the sidewalk drinking @alaninutrition as the sun rose and were the first people in the new Chicago @popupbagels store—and Jessica was the first customer to try the new @portilloshotdogs collab: a giardiniera schmear. (That’s the first photo!)

Anyways, I love bagels and I’m excited to have a new spot in the city!!! Welcome, @popupbagels! 🫶🏻

#popupbagels #chicago #adventure #portillos

I will wake up early for 2 things: flights and bagels.

@jess_2795 and I sat on the sidewalk drinking @alaninutrition as the sun rose and were the first people in the new Chicago @popupbagels store—and Jessica was the first customer to try the new @portilloshotdogs collab: a giardiniera schmear. (That’s the first photo!)

Anyways, I love bagels and I’m excited to have a new spot in the city!!! Welcome, @popupbagels! 🫶🏻

#popupbagels #chicago #adventure #portillos

I will wake up early for 2 things: flights and bagels.

@jess_2795 and I sat on the sidewalk drinking @alaninutrition as the sun rose and were the first people in the new Chicago @popupbagels store—and Jessica was the first customer to try the new @portilloshotdogs collab: a giardiniera schmear. (That’s the first photo!)

Anyways, I love bagels and I’m excited to have a new spot in the city!!! Welcome, @popupbagels! 🫶🏻

#popupbagels #chicago #adventure #portillos

I will wake up early for 2 things: flights and bagels.

@jess_2795 and I sat on the sidewalk drinking @alaninutrition as the sun rose and were the first people in the new Chicago @popupbagels store—and Jessica was the first customer to try the new @portilloshotdogs collab: a giardiniera schmear. (That’s the first photo!)

Anyways, I love bagels and I’m excited to have a new spot in the city!!! Welcome, @popupbagels! 🫶🏻

#popupbagels #chicago #adventure #portillos

This was one of my first Heated RivalRaves and, not only that, it was at a venue I’d grown up going to (like I saw 3OH3! play here). I’ve rarely been so nervous for an event. But I locked in. Over a thousand people were waiting, having bought tickets, taken time off work, some driving hours to be there. I had to swallow my nerves and focus and give them the best show possible.

As soon as I ran out on stage, everything else faded away. We spend three hours dancing and singing, and it was so special and fun. As soon as I got off stage, I texted a friend: “Easily one of the top ten nights of my life.”

To be honest, all my shows have had amazing crowds, but because I conquered an internal fear for that particular show, and not only did I show up in spite of it, but I was met with such beautiful reciprocal energy and joy and delight, that one will hold a special place in my heart.

It was the moment when I thought: “Maybe I *can* do this. And maybe I can not only just do it—maybe I’m *good* at it?!”

Thank you @alyssaleicht for capturing this core memory 🫶🏻 (shot by Alyssa / edited by me).

✨”Schedule ain’t been loose for a minute. Yeah, I’m that girl, I’ve been it.” ✨

- @pinkpantheress / @zaralarsson

Never thought in a million years I’d be doing this, but I think that it being out of my comfort zone allows me to focus more on the people in front of me rather than making it about me, and perhaps that itself—the discomfort evolving into prescience—is a gift. Because more than anything, my job and my goal is to create space for people to show up and feel safe and seen and celebrated.

I may be holding the mic now, but it’s not about me, it never was, and I’m so grateful for the crowds that left me share a room with them every night. It’s your room, your stage, your songs, your stories, and I’m lucky to be here.

Last night at 3am I was thinking that I probably could do this every night (realistically I’d eventually need days off but you know what I mean). I’ve got a stack of dancing shoes and dozens of cans of Cherry Bomb Alani (my current obsession), and I’m ready. 🫶🏻

And thank you to @jess_2795 for showing up and for this video!!!!! And obvs to @club90s_la for creating space for me to show up and grow and for thousands of people to show up and celebrate together.

dance all the time. sleep, occasionally.

happy @harrystyles day, and happy hard launch of what i’ve been up to the last month. i’m doing a lot and learning a lot and traveling a lot and having so much fun conquering fears and states and stages—and dancing, of course. ✨ 6 shows already this year, more to come! lansing—you’re next tomorrow.

and @alyssaleicht took so many incredible photos of me in des moines that i’m going to have to split them up into multiple posts. so more photos—and more thoughts and feelings about the dsm show and life in general—to come.

dance all the time. sleep, occasionally.

happy @harrystyles day, and happy hard launch of what i’ve been up to the last month. i’m doing a lot and learning a lot and traveling a lot and having so much fun conquering fears and states and stages—and dancing, of course. ✨ 6 shows already this year, more to come! lansing—you’re next tomorrow.

and @alyssaleicht took so many incredible photos of me in des moines that i’m going to have to split them up into multiple posts. so more photos—and more thoughts and feelings about the dsm show and life in general—to come.

dance all the time. sleep, occasionally.

happy @harrystyles day, and happy hard launch of what i’ve been up to the last month. i’m doing a lot and learning a lot and traveling a lot and having so much fun conquering fears and states and stages—and dancing, of course. ✨ 6 shows already this year, more to come! lansing—you’re next tomorrow.

and @alyssaleicht took so many incredible photos of me in des moines that i’m going to have to split them up into multiple posts. so more photos—and more thoughts and feelings about the dsm show and life in general—to come.

dance all the time. sleep, occasionally.

happy @harrystyles day, and happy hard launch of what i’ve been up to the last month. i’m doing a lot and learning a lot and traveling a lot and having so much fun conquering fears and states and stages—and dancing, of course. ✨ 6 shows already this year, more to come! lansing—you’re next tomorrow.

and @alyssaleicht took so many incredible photos of me in des moines that i’m going to have to split them up into multiple posts. so more photos—and more thoughts and feelings about the dsm show and life in general—to come.

dance all the time. sleep, occasionally.

happy @harrystyles day, and happy hard launch of what i’ve been up to the last month. i’m doing a lot and learning a lot and traveling a lot and having so much fun conquering fears and states and stages—and dancing, of course. ✨ 6 shows already this year, more to come! lansing—you’re next tomorrow.

and @alyssaleicht took so many incredible photos of me in des moines that i’m going to have to split them up into multiple posts. so more photos—and more thoughts and feelings about the dsm show and life in general—to come.

dance all the time. sleep, occasionally.

happy @harrystyles day, and happy hard launch of what i’ve been up to the last month. i’m doing a lot and learning a lot and traveling a lot and having so much fun conquering fears and states and stages—and dancing, of course. ✨ 6 shows already this year, more to come! lansing—you’re next tomorrow.

and @alyssaleicht took so many incredible photos of me in des moines that i’m going to have to split them up into multiple posts. so more photos—and more thoughts and feelings about the dsm show and life in general—to come.

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

my first (but definitely not last) #heatedrivalrave in nyc last weekend 📷

#heatedrivalry #nyc

❤️📺 Had an amazing time playing some songs acoustic for the Dog And Everyone show Saturday night at @beatkitchenbar ! I played some T’s, some Milly, and you guys sang along! Thanks to @thedogandeverything for having me out! Happy holidays everyone!!❤️🙏
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📸: @estorie
🎶: Miracle by @million.miler.music
.
.
#millionmiler #plainwhitets #happyholidays #gobears #bajillion

❤️📺 Had an amazing time playing some songs acoustic for the Dog And Everyone show Saturday night at @beatkitchenbar ! I played some T’s, some Milly, and you guys sang along! Thanks to @thedogandeverything for having me out! Happy holidays everyone!!❤️🙏
.
.
📸: @estorie
🎶: Miracle by @million.miler.music
.
.
#millionmiler #plainwhitets #happyholidays #gobears #bajillion

❤️📺 Had an amazing time playing some songs acoustic for the Dog And Everyone show Saturday night at @beatkitchenbar ! I played some T’s, some Milly, and you guys sang along! Thanks to @thedogandeverything for having me out! Happy holidays everyone!!❤️🙏
.
.
📸: @estorie
🎶: Miracle by @million.miler.music
.
.
#millionmiler #plainwhitets #happyholidays #gobears #bajillion

❤️📺 Had an amazing time playing some songs acoustic for the Dog And Everyone show Saturday night at @beatkitchenbar ! I played some T’s, some Milly, and you guys sang along! Thanks to @thedogandeverything for having me out! Happy holidays everyone!!❤️🙏
.
.
📸: @estorie
🎶: Miracle by @million.miler.music
.
.
#millionmiler #plainwhitets #happyholidays #gobears #bajillion

❤️📺 Had an amazing time playing some songs acoustic for the Dog And Everyone show Saturday night at @beatkitchenbar ! I played some T’s, some Milly, and you guys sang along! Thanks to @thedogandeverything for having me out! Happy holidays everyone!!❤️🙏
.
.
📸: @estorie
🎶: Miracle by @million.miler.music
.
.
#millionmiler #plainwhitets #happyholidays #gobears #bajillion

❤️📺 Had an amazing time playing some songs acoustic for the Dog And Everyone show Saturday night at @beatkitchenbar ! I played some T’s, some Milly, and you guys sang along! Thanks to @thedogandeverything for having me out! Happy holidays everyone!!❤️🙏
.
.
📸: @estorie
🎶: Miracle by @million.miler.music
.
.
#millionmiler #plainwhitets #happyholidays #gobears #bajillion

❤️📺 Had an amazing time playing some songs acoustic for the Dog And Everyone show Saturday night at @beatkitchenbar ! I played some T’s, some Milly, and you guys sang along! Thanks to @thedogandeverything for having me out! Happy holidays everyone!!❤️🙏
.
.
📸: @estorie
🎶: Miracle by @million.miler.music
.
.
#millionmiler #plainwhitets #happyholidays #gobears #bajillion

❤️📺 Had an amazing time playing some songs acoustic for the Dog And Everyone show Saturday night at @beatkitchenbar ! I played some T’s, some Milly, and you guys sang along! Thanks to @thedogandeverything for having me out! Happy holidays everyone!!❤️🙏
.
.
📸: @estorie
🎶: Miracle by @million.miler.music
.
.
#millionmiler #plainwhitets #happyholidays #gobears #bajillion

❤️📺 Had an amazing time playing some songs acoustic for the Dog And Everyone show Saturday night at @beatkitchenbar ! I played some T’s, some Milly, and you guys sang along! Thanks to @thedogandeverything for having me out! Happy holidays everyone!!❤️🙏
.
.
📸: @estorie
🎶: Miracle by @million.miler.music
.
.
#millionmiler #plainwhitets #happyholidays #gobears #bajillion

❤️📺 Had an amazing time playing some songs acoustic for the Dog And Everyone show Saturday night at @beatkitchenbar ! I played some T’s, some Milly, and you guys sang along! Thanks to @thedogandeverything for having me out! Happy holidays everyone!!❤️🙏
.
.
📸: @estorie
🎶: Miracle by @million.miler.music
.
.
#millionmiler #plainwhitets #happyholidays #gobears #bajillion

❤️📺 Had an amazing time playing some songs acoustic for the Dog And Everyone show Saturday night at @beatkitchenbar ! I played some T’s, some Milly, and you guys sang along! Thanks to @thedogandeverything for having me out! Happy holidays everyone!!❤️🙏
.
.
📸: @estorie
🎶: Miracle by @million.miler.music
.
.
#millionmiler #plainwhitets #happyholidays #gobears #bajillion

Last month, @higgypop (and @lemonrd1388) and I met up at @saltshedchicago to get some promo photos and videos for the @plainwhitets shows with @waterparks this week. We did some arts and crafts and sat in the dark and filmed some videos and looked at @awstenknight’s massive hammer collection and, all in all, it was a great time. (No, I don’t understand the hammers either. 🤣)

#plainwhitets #waterparks

Last month, @higgypop (and @lemonrd1388) and I met up at @saltshedchicago to get some promo photos and videos for the @plainwhitets shows with @waterparks this week. We did some arts and crafts and sat in the dark and filmed some videos and looked at @awstenknight’s massive hammer collection and, all in all, it was a great time. (No, I don’t understand the hammers either. 🤣)

#plainwhitets #waterparks

Last month, @higgypop (and @lemonrd1388) and I met up at @saltshedchicago to get some promo photos and videos for the @plainwhitets shows with @waterparks this week. We did some arts and crafts and sat in the dark and filmed some videos and looked at @awstenknight’s massive hammer collection and, all in all, it was a great time. (No, I don’t understand the hammers either. 🤣)

#plainwhitets #waterparks

Last month, @higgypop (and @lemonrd1388) and I met up at @saltshedchicago to get some promo photos and videos for the @plainwhitets shows with @waterparks this week. We did some arts and crafts and sat in the dark and filmed some videos and looked at @awstenknight’s massive hammer collection and, all in all, it was a great time. (No, I don’t understand the hammers either. 🤣)

#plainwhitets #waterparks

Last month, @higgypop (and @lemonrd1388) and I met up at @saltshedchicago to get some promo photos and videos for the @plainwhitets shows with @waterparks this week. We did some arts and crafts and sat in the dark and filmed some videos and looked at @awstenknight’s massive hammer collection and, all in all, it was a great time. (No, I don’t understand the hammers either. 🤣)

#plainwhitets #waterparks

Last month, @higgypop (and @lemonrd1388) and I met up at @saltshedchicago to get some promo photos and videos for the @plainwhitets shows with @waterparks this week. We did some arts and crafts and sat in the dark and filmed some videos and looked at @awstenknight’s massive hammer collection and, all in all, it was a great time. (No, I don’t understand the hammers either. 🤣)

#plainwhitets #waterparks