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Remembering this dream true come true moment for me!!!
Thank you to @lifestyleeditorholly for making it happen my fairy godmother ❤️
@psychologiesmagazine
photo: @rhiannoncaptures

Every day I still get DM's about the impact of this book and everytime it makes me emotional 😭 because I wrote it with a picture on my wall of the mother I wanted to help.
The woman doing it all, holding everyone but herself, desperate to a good mother but feeling like she's failing at every turn. I wrote it for her, because that was once me, and I believe every mother deserves to know the the path to a different way. A new way - even in our world of endless expectations.

Have you read it??? If not, what are you doing 😜 get your copy as an early Mother's Day present to yourself

PSA: this is the new Motherkind era.

For the woman behind the mother.

PSA: this is the new Motherkind era.

For the woman behind the mother.

PSA: this is the new Motherkind era.

For the woman behind the mother.

PSA: this is the new Motherkind era.

For the woman behind the mother.

NEW EPISODE OUT NOW

If you have a career decision to make, this is the episode you need.

Amy Golding is the CEO of Steven Bartlett’s private office and she shares how she made the decision to take the job at 6 months pregnant with her third child.

Her answer will surprise you.

Amy says we need to connect back to our bodies to feel intodecisions, and that motherhood is the unlock to doing it.

Comment EQUATION and we’ll DM you the episode link.

Watch #Motherkind on YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Sponsored by @wildnutritionltd

The 4 sentences that changed my motherhood 👇👇

But before I start - I WISH I’d known these earlier, I wish we prepared mothers with this knowledge, I wish every single mother could know what I have learned.

1️⃣ Motherhood is meant to change you

🌙 you don’t “go back” to your old self, and trying to will break you
🌙 you don’t “bounce back” into your old body, social life, relationships , values
🌙 you grow forwards in a new version of you - with different values, perspectives and priorities
🌙 this process of growing forwards is called matrescence
🌙 this process is like putting a jigsaw puzzle back together, it takes years, you’ll put the wrong pieces in the wrong places - thats ok

2️⃣ Get on your own side

🌙 your inner critic will become very loud in motherhood, because it gets louder the more you care about something
🌙 we have to learn to become our own inner support system - we can get through anything when we’re our own supporter
🌙 learn to challenge the voice telling you you’re not good enough, you can’t cope and you don’t deserve your children

3️⃣ “Mum” guilt is a trick to keep us small

🌙 you need good guilt, it keeps us on track with our values, helps us to say sorry and reflect on our behaviour
🌙 but that isn’t what “mum” guilt is
🌙 mum guilt is when we think we’re wrong but we’re not. Because it’s not wrong to work, or to meet our own needs or to be imperfect. It’s human.
🌙 learn to challenge your guilt using my 80/20 rule so you can free yourself from it and finally feel good enough

4️⃣ We can’t be the mothers we want to be if we’re depleted

🌙meeting your own needs too is the least selfish thing you can do as a mother
🌙 we can only give when we have capacity to give from, or we burn out - and that hurts everyone
🌙 we already know how to care and meet needs - we do it all day for our children, we just have to include ourselves in our care
🌙 learning to regulate your stress response is the best gift you can give yourself and your children

6 other types of rest (that have nothing to do with sleep) 👇

😴 Sleep deprivation is serious. That’s why it’s used as a form of torture, it impacts you on every level.

But when you’re a parent- the usual advice on sleep can be so frustrating because how much sleep you get isn’t usually in your control.

I wish I’d known earlier, that there are 6 other types of rest that have nothing to do with sleep. Here they are, AND I’ve given a 3 minute idea under each one….

1. Mental Rest: giving your thinking mind a break
- listen to a short guided meditation I use @calm every day

2. Sensory Rest : to counter the overstimulation
- get in the bathroom - turn off all the light and take 3 deep breaths

3. Creative Rest - taking a break from the analysing and responsibilities
- walk outside with your shoes off (grounding)

4. Emotional Rest - suppressing your true emotions takes energy
- Give yourself a few minutes to get curious about how you really feel permission without judgment.

5. Social Rest - recharging your social battery
- jot down 3 people you feel safe with, and 3 people who drain your energy
- Cancel social plans if you need to

6. Spiritual Rest: feeling a deeper sense of purpose and connection
- do 3 minutes of practices that help you feel connected to a higher purpose or your inner self, such as prayer, meditation, or spending time in nature.

Curious to know which of these you think could help when you’re sleep deprived? 👇👇

AM I RIGHT???? 😝

It’s the only way💫💫💫

If you arrive at motherhood with low self worth, it’s so easy to ignore ourselves and give everything to our children. But it doesn’t work that way. We have to be resourced in order to continue giving to them.

It’s not about bubble baths, or more sleep or nights off (impossible) but about finding tiny ways to keep ourselves resourced.

There was so many unhelpful things I was told in the trenches of the early years.

“Enjoy every minute”
“You think this is hard, just you wait….”
“Isn’t it just incredible?”

I wish I’d heard more truth, more compassion, more understand of the real experience.

I wish I’d heard more words like these. ❤️

There was so many unhelpful things I was told in the trenches of the early years.

“Enjoy every minute”
“You think this is hard, just you wait….”
“Isn’t it just incredible?”

I wish I’d heard more truth, more compassion, more understand of the real experience.

I wish I’d heard more words like these. ❤️

There was so many unhelpful things I was told in the trenches of the early years.

“Enjoy every minute”
“You think this is hard, just you wait….”
“Isn’t it just incredible?”

I wish I’d heard more truth, more compassion, more understand of the real experience.

I wish I’d heard more words like these. ❤️

There was so many unhelpful things I was told in the trenches of the early years.

“Enjoy every minute”
“You think this is hard, just you wait….”
“Isn’t it just incredible?”

I wish I’d heard more truth, more compassion, more understand of the real experience.

I wish I’d heard more words like these. ❤️

There was so many unhelpful things I was told in the trenches of the early years.

“Enjoy every minute”
“You think this is hard, just you wait….”
“Isn’t it just incredible?”

I wish I’d heard more truth, more compassion, more understand of the real experience.

I wish I’d heard more words like these. ❤️

There was so many unhelpful things I was told in the trenches of the early years.

“Enjoy every minute”
“You think this is hard, just you wait….”
“Isn’t it just incredible?”

I wish I’d heard more truth, more compassion, more understand of the real experience.

I wish I’d heard more words like these. ❤️

In motherhood we’re always looking forward: the next milestone or stage but take a moment to look back at how far you’ve come and you’ll be amazed ✨✨✨✨

You’re doing so much better than you think - promise ❤️

We need more leaders like @vanessakingori who would promote women whilst on maternity at Vogue.

This is an incredible episode, listen for an immediate confidence boost

Comment VANESSA and we’ll send you the episode link.

Watch #Motherkind on YouTube, or listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Sponsored by @wildnutritionltd

@vanessakingori reveals how she was told not to advertise her motherhood at work.

Comment VANESSA and we’ll send you the episode link.

Watch #Motherkind on YouTube, or listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Sponsored by @wildnutritionltd