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Señor Loco reveals his dream role and yaks about his seed addiction and why you should never eat a breakfast burrito in front of him. #puppet #Latino #vanityfair #parody #comedy

Pronto Regresamos! 🎭💃💐

Perky Padawans: I survived Wookiee yoga, and I’m pretty sure I left my dignity — and several layers of fur — on the mat. May the 4th be with ME, even though I'm posting this webisode on the 10th!

That "Force-Flow" yoga retreat, had my chakras filing a restraining order against me.

One Padawan tried to "levitate" his worries and ended up dropping a meditation boulder on my foot — which, naturally, the Council said was a "test of my patience". I wanted to choke hold him up in the air Vader-style.

My patience isn't a test; it's a limited-time offer that expired during the first trimester of the Republic. But I did my best Yoda impression and: "Nothing, did I say."

Between the Wookiee hair in the communal showers and the "Force-assisted" backbends that made my spine sound like R2-D2 falling down a flight of stairs, I am officially: Over IT, Gurl...

If I wanted to suffer for "growth," I’d just spend a weekend at an IKEA with Señor Loco trying to contort wicker chairs into nesting spaces.

That studio was a sulfurous poo poo platter; I haven't smelt that much gas since the last time Naked Bob tried to cook "authentic" chili from road kill and fed it to Conchita.

Meanwhile Chewbacca downward-dogged with such ferocity he literally cracked the foundation, while the rest of the class was busy farting away!

Who knew "inner peace" came with a complimentary herniated disk and a pulled muscle in a place I didn't even know existed?

If this is what it takes to get centered, I'd rather stay unbalanced while having the nerve to judge other people from the safety of my burrow in Degobah.

#JediJabberwocky #Wookie #WookieHappens #MortimerWeasel #LosTiteresTV

Darling, if you thought finding a decent date in West Hollywood was a tragedy, try navigating the dating pool when everyone is "connected" to a mystical energy field. I’ve been Force-swiping on GRIND-R2 for weeks, and let me tell you, the pickings are slimmer than "Jabba El Hutt" after a kale-smoothie cleanse.

I just got my quarterly Jedi stipend and let me tell you—enlightenment is a pyramid scheme!

They expect me to maintain inner peace and battle my daddy issues across the galaxy for the price of a generic latte and a coupon for blue milk. I had to put my lightsaber crystals on Etsy just to afford a decent skincare routine, because let’s face it, cosmic radiation is not a vibe.

If the Force is supposed to be "all-encompassing," why doesn't it encompass my rent in Beverly Hills? I’m one late payment away from taking #Palpatine up on that dental insurance offer—at least the Sith understand that couture costs credits, honey!

I recently attended a "Force-Flow" yoga retreat, and darling, my chakras have filed a restraining order. One Padawan tried to "levitate" his worries and ended up dropping a meditation boulder on my foot—which, naturally, the Council said was a "test of my patience". Honey, my patience isn't a test; it's a limited-time offer that expired during the first trimester of the Republic.

Between the Wookiee hair in the communal showers and the "Force-assisted" backbends that made my spine sound like R2-D2 falling down a flight of stairs, I am officially over it. If I wanted to suffer for "growth," I’d just spend a weekend at an IKEA with Señor Loco.

The heavy breathing. Is it ominous? Sure. Sexy? Surprisingly, yes—until you’re trying to sleep and it sounds like a broken vacuum cleaner confessing its sins.

#JediJabberwocky #GrindR2 #SithHappens #MortimerWeasel #LosTiteresTV #ForceSensitive #DatingDisasters #CoutureChaos #GalacticGossip

Let’s talk about C-3PO—the only droid in the galaxy who manages to be more emotionally high-maintenance than me on a Monday morning.

He’s gold-plated and polished to perfection, yet he has the structural integrity of a wet paper towel and the social anxiety of a cat at a dog show. I asked him for a simple martini — shaken, not beeped — and he gave me a lecture on the "six million forms of communication" and why my liver is a statistical anomaly.

Honestly, if I wanted to spend my afternoon being lectured by a shiny, neurotic gay, I’d go back to dating that mime in West Hollywood. Hunny, if you’re going to be that fabulous and metallic, at least learn how to mix a drink without having a protocol-induced meltdown. That's just decent queer etiquette.

Are all these translucent Jedi mentors I'm seeing actual spiritual guides or just the world's most annoying, uninvited houseguests? Force ghosts: spiritual guides, or just translucent 3AM creepers?

#ForceGhosts #ObiWanKenobi #MortimerWeasel #JediJabberwocky #LosTiteresTV #NoSleepForTheWicked #MortimerWeasel #Airbnb #PuppetLife

Darling, I finally stepped foot inside the Millennium Falcon and nearly fainted—it’s not a "legendary starship," it’s a flying grease trap with the Feng Shui of a discarded toaster. Han Solo thinks "rugged charm" covers up the fact that his upholstery smells like wet Wookiee and regret, but honey, I’ve seen better lighting in a Jawa’s junk trunk.

I tried to suggest some sequined throw pillows to mask the industrial despair, but Chewbacca just growled at me like I was suggesting we eat his grandmother. If the Rebellion wants me to save the galaxy, they’re going to have to do it in a vessel that doesn't trigger my allergies or my sense of aesthetic superiority. I’m off to find a ship with a champagne fountain and significantly fewer exposed wires.

Is the secret to eternal life hidden in a green smoothie or just a very aggressive swamp cleanse? Is Yoda’s secret to living forever actually the Force, or just a swamp-juice cleanse that destroys your dignity?

Why don't we get a little high? 💨

Hope you're having FUN on 420💨

🔥🤪 OYE! COMO ESTAS?! 🤪🔥
I’m Señor Loco… yes, THE one… the only… the mustachioed parrot who talks too much and thinks too little 😏
And I’ve got an invitation you CANNOT refuse (well… you can… but that would be VERY boring of you 😤).
Come join this espectaculo de crazy, con laughs, y puppets with more attitude than the Taco Bell chihuahua tweaking on Café Cubano ☕🐕
🎭 On @LosTiteresTV you’ll find: 💥 Gossiping puppets 💥 Unnecessary drama (con salsa!) 💥 Laughs that’ll make you spit out your burrito 💥 And me… trying to keep things under control before we get deported or worse!
So… what are you waiting for?
👉 FOLLOW US NOW! 👉 JOIN NUESTRA FAMILA LOCA!
We are on hiatus now, pero we'll be back with more episodes — and for the first time: MERCH!
💃🕺 SEE YOU AT @LosTiteresTV, MY LOVES! 🕺💃

Pronto regresamos! 📡 STAY TUNED! 📺 We'll be right back!

We'll Be Right Back!… Pronto Regresamos 😘