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kellandcrow

Keller Northcutt

1.1K
posts
1.8K
followers
1.7K
following

Sometimes I miss you so much I just want to crawl deep beneath the earth and stay there until I find you again…





Thank you for this sweetest memory @juliadukephoto


3
4
6 hours ago


Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago


Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago


Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Goddesses + boyz + musical pool toys.


3
7
1 weeks ago

Skied down into a steaming crater, slept in a snow fort, almost won a card game, ate thousands of calories, practiced some knots, scorched my face and froze my ass off in the ethereal land of glaciers. Amazing adventure with a dream crew. @evergreen_strength @seanquito @tommascioli @mcgillzack @cascademtnascents


3
18
3 weeks ago

Skied down into a steaming crater, slept in a snow fort, almost won a card game, ate thousands of calories, practiced some knots, scorched my face and froze my ass off in the ethereal land of glaciers. Amazing adventure with a dream crew. @evergreen_strength @seanquito @tommascioli @mcgillzack @cascademtnascents


3
18
3 weeks ago

Skied down into a steaming crater, slept in a snow fort, almost won a card game, ate thousands of calories, practiced some knots, scorched my face and froze my ass off in the ethereal land of glaciers. Amazing adventure with a dream crew. @evergreen_strength @seanquito @tommascioli @mcgillzack @cascademtnascents


3
18
3 weeks ago

Skied down into a steaming crater, slept in a snow fort, almost won a card game, ate thousands of calories, practiced some knots, scorched my face and froze my ass off in the ethereal land of glaciers. Amazing adventure with a dream crew. @evergreen_strength @seanquito @tommascioli @mcgillzack @cascademtnascents


3
18
3 weeks ago


Skied down into a steaming crater, slept in a snow fort, almost won a card game, ate thousands of calories, practiced some knots, scorched my face and froze my ass off in the ethereal land of glaciers. Amazing adventure with a dream crew. @evergreen_strength @seanquito @tommascioli @mcgillzack @cascademtnascents


3
18
3 weeks ago

Skied down into a steaming crater, slept in a snow fort, almost won a card game, ate thousands of calories, practiced some knots, scorched my face and froze my ass off in the ethereal land of glaciers. Amazing adventure with a dream crew. @evergreen_strength @seanquito @tommascioli @mcgillzack @cascademtnascents


3
18
3 weeks ago

Skied down into a steaming crater, slept in a snow fort, almost won a card game, ate thousands of calories, practiced some knots, scorched my face and froze my ass off in the ethereal land of glaciers. Amazing adventure with a dream crew. @evergreen_strength @seanquito @tommascioli @mcgillzack @cascademtnascents


3
18
3 weeks ago

Skied down into a steaming crater, slept in a snow fort, almost won a card game, ate thousands of calories, practiced some knots, scorched my face and froze my ass off in the ethereal land of glaciers. Amazing adventure with a dream crew. @evergreen_strength @seanquito @tommascioli @mcgillzack @cascademtnascents


3
18
3 weeks ago

Skied down into a steaming crater, slept in a snow fort, almost won a card game, ate thousands of calories, practiced some knots, scorched my face and froze my ass off in the ethereal land of glaciers. Amazing adventure with a dream crew. @evergreen_strength @seanquito @tommascioli @mcgillzack @cascademtnascents


3
18
3 weeks ago

Skied down into a steaming crater, slept in a snow fort, almost won a card game, ate thousands of calories, practiced some knots, scorched my face and froze my ass off in the ethereal land of glaciers. Amazing adventure with a dream crew. @evergreen_strength @seanquito @tommascioli @mcgillzack @cascademtnascents


3
18
3 weeks ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago


people ask
when will I get another dog
but no one has asked me
when I will get another dad

as if grief must be placated
rather than held
as if distraction is better
than presence

I asked the earth about this

I touched the moss tips of her wizard trees
and the blue bellies of the thumbprint sailors
I smelled the rot of a bloated body
and I stacked hollow crab shells in a shrine
I ran my hand across the polished heartwood
of a 1000 year cedar
I watched white wings reach across the sky
as the sun flashed green

and she replied:

always choose presence
for in it
we are immortal


3
11
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Winter is a many, splendored thing.


3
3
1 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

Bebe tus electrolitos.


3
17
3 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

My darling boy, my sweetest companion. Today is your 16th birthday, but you’re not here.

The hole you left at home has been filled with flowers and notes from friends. I have kept a candle burning for you each night, so your spirit doesn’t get lost in the dark.

But the hole you left in my heart is the deepest cavern, a bottomless well. It is unfillable, inconsolable, raw and resolute. The rug by your bed is soaked with tears, I can barely pull my body off the floor.

It will take a lifetime to articulate what you meant to me. My joy, my soul, my laughter, my sage. I always joked that you took away as many years as you added to my life when you would run off or get lost, but to be honest, you are the only reason I have any years left at all. You were the oxygen when my lungs were collapsing, the salve to my heart’s wounds. You were my lighthouse, my Orion, my council and consolation, my enduring determination to seek higher ground.

I am hollow, fiercely engulfed in grief. Yet, as I should have known you would, you stayed with me, your spirit has not left my side. Bright and calm.

It torrentially rained all last week. But right before you left, the sky turned blue and the sun shone upon your perfect, black batwing ears. I am so happy you felt it. I am happy you enjoyed steak and salmon and ice cream. I am grateful I could hold your head in my lap and draw a heart on your forehead and kiss the center of it, just like I did every night before bed.

After you left, the sky blackened and the rains returned. The rivers swept away homes, ripped apart hillsides, split freeways in two. The land and I, sit flooded in grief.

But, my sweetest Crow, there is peace too. Now you are untethered, released from a body worn out by a maximized life, one lived deeply and freely. There is peace in knowing your spirit is with my dad now, and that you two are probably out on a bike ride as I write this.

Thank you for staying close to me. Thank you for trusting me, for being so brave, so dignified. Thank you for giving me a love bigger than grief, a love irreplaceable and true.

I will love you infinitely, endlessly, until you’re in my arms again. Rest easy sweet boy. 🖤🤍🖤


3
48
5 months ago

Too many tears to write more. I will love you and miss you every day for the rest of my life. Thank you for choosing me. 🖤🤍🖤


3
160
5 months ago

Too many tears to write more. I will love you and miss you every day for the rest of my life. Thank you for choosing me. 🖤🤍🖤


3
160
5 months ago

Too many tears to write more. I will love you and miss you every day for the rest of my life. Thank you for choosing me. 🖤🤍🖤


3
160
5 months ago

Too many tears to write more. I will love you and miss you every day for the rest of my life. Thank you for choosing me. 🖤🤍🖤


3
160
5 months ago

My favorite Thing.


3
5
6 months ago

Couldn’t sleep last night because I was thinking about skiing and fishing. So I got up and went skiing and fishing. Very grateful for every day I get to keep livin’.


3
23
6 months ago

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my very favorite human!!! You make me laugh harder than anyone, you support me unconditionally, and you make every. single. day brighter. ☀️

You are creative and driven, endlessly generous and positive, and you have taken such amazing care of our mom (and so many others in your community) in this incredibly challenging year. 🤍

I am grateful for you, proud of you, and so lucky to be your sister!! I can’t wait to retire with you *soon* at @thelafayette. 🥂

Hope this next year is the best one yet!!!! I love you @bernieandme!!!


3
12
7 months ago

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my very favorite human!!! You make me laugh harder than anyone, you support me unconditionally, and you make every. single. day brighter. ☀️

You are creative and driven, endlessly generous and positive, and you have taken such amazing care of our mom (and so many others in your community) in this incredibly challenging year. 🤍

I am grateful for you, proud of you, and so lucky to be your sister!! I can’t wait to retire with you *soon* at @thelafayette. 🥂

Hope this next year is the best one yet!!!! I love you @bernieandme!!!


3
12
7 months ago

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my very favorite human!!! You make me laugh harder than anyone, you support me unconditionally, and you make every. single. day brighter. ☀️

You are creative and driven, endlessly generous and positive, and you have taken such amazing care of our mom (and so many others in your community) in this incredibly challenging year. 🤍

I am grateful for you, proud of you, and so lucky to be your sister!! I can’t wait to retire with you *soon* at @thelafayette. 🥂

Hope this next year is the best one yet!!!! I love you @bernieandme!!!


3
12
7 months ago

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my very favorite human!!! You make me laugh harder than anyone, you support me unconditionally, and you make every. single. day brighter. ☀️

You are creative and driven, endlessly generous and positive, and you have taken such amazing care of our mom (and so many others in your community) in this incredibly challenging year. 🤍

I am grateful for you, proud of you, and so lucky to be your sister!! I can’t wait to retire with you *soon* at @thelafayette. 🥂

Hope this next year is the best one yet!!!! I love you @bernieandme!!!


3
12
7 months ago

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my very favorite human!!! You make me laugh harder than anyone, you support me unconditionally, and you make every. single. day brighter. ☀️

You are creative and driven, endlessly generous and positive, and you have taken such amazing care of our mom (and so many others in your community) in this incredibly challenging year. 🤍

I am grateful for you, proud of you, and so lucky to be your sister!! I can’t wait to retire with you *soon* at @thelafayette. 🥂

Hope this next year is the best one yet!!!! I love you @bernieandme!!!


3
12
7 months ago

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my very favorite human!!! You make me laugh harder than anyone, you support me unconditionally, and you make every. single. day brighter. ☀️

You are creative and driven, endlessly generous and positive, and you have taken such amazing care of our mom (and so many others in your community) in this incredibly challenging year. 🤍

I am grateful for you, proud of you, and so lucky to be your sister!! I can’t wait to retire with you *soon* at @thelafayette. 🥂

Hope this next year is the best one yet!!!! I love you @bernieandme!!!


3
12
7 months ago

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my very favorite human!!! You make me laugh harder than anyone, you support me unconditionally, and you make every. single. day brighter. ☀️

You are creative and driven, endlessly generous and positive, and you have taken such amazing care of our mom (and so many others in your community) in this incredibly challenging year. 🤍

I am grateful for you, proud of you, and so lucky to be your sister!! I can’t wait to retire with you *soon* at @thelafayette. 🥂

Hope this next year is the best one yet!!!! I love you @bernieandme!!!


3
12
7 months ago

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my very favorite human!!! You make me laugh harder than anyone, you support me unconditionally, and you make every. single. day brighter. ☀️

You are creative and driven, endlessly generous and positive, and you have taken such amazing care of our mom (and so many others in your community) in this incredibly challenging year. 🤍

I am grateful for you, proud of you, and so lucky to be your sister!! I can’t wait to retire with you *soon* at @thelafayette. 🥂

Hope this next year is the best one yet!!!! I love you @bernieandme!!!


3
12
7 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago

Best summer 🌞


3
9
8 months ago


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