Zapisz historię na Instagramie

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Spent the year growing a person, etc

Spent the year growing a person, etc

Remind me to tell you about the time I got slapped by an old lady at the Alhambra Costco

Follow me if you like to see photos of my food and drink but rarely photos of me or my loved ones

A lady in Chinatown forced me to buy these apples and I’ll tell you what I’m glad she did

my best work is plants

my best work is plants

my best work is plants

Life, somewhat recently

Life, somewhat recently

Life, somewhat recently

“You have a reptilian nature that is just so positive,” someone said to another person while I peed in the stall.
“You do and say all the right things, I mean, you do and say whatever you want, which is the same thing.”
“Omg just fyi this is my Reformation dress I got at a sample sale,” the reptilian said. “I won’t tell you where that was.”
“Hahaha,” they gargled.
“That’s my little secret. But about being a reptilian, whatever that is, I don’t know, I just know it’s good.”

The restaurant had tiled floors that were advertised as non-fatal. As in the hardness wouldn’t kill you if you tripped and fell. During our time there two people slipped and hit the floor, slapping the tiles with their exposed summer fat and not dying at all.

Back by popular demand (one guy asked) here’s this photo. Plus! A bonus version of the same thing

Back by popular demand (one guy asked) here’s this photo. Plus! A bonus version of the same thing

There are orchids growing on trees in the streets of São Paulo